
Overprotecting Our Children
Overprotecting our children: How to strike a balance between being a caring parent and giving the necessary space to a young person to grow and experience life firsthand.
Every child or young person has a right to be safe and receive care that helps them to grow and to live a happy and healthy life. But what if overprotection keeps teenagers off from becoming emotionally mature individuals? What if overprotection is an obstacle in harmonious development of a healthy mindset to combat life’s challenges? That has been the matter for investigation of Gary Hickey in the recent issue of Boarding School magazine [please see pp. 30-37], and food for thought for educators like Cherwell College Oxford.
A great emphasis is placed on safeguarding and child protection in the UK education system. But once children reach their teen years, the ‘overprotective’ approach might do them more harm than good. Recent research shows that by overly treating children as if they are too fragile to cope with all that life presents we are not only preventing the children’s emotional immune systems from developing strength and resilience, but also doing so to the detriment of future growth and wellbeing generally.
Children, as well as adults, need friends and reliable role models, and intermittent instances of normal stress are essential. Stress inoculation is a kind of immunity against later stressors, that could be compared to the vaccine-inducing immunity against the virus.
Modern young people quickly embraced the internet, social media and now all-pervasive swipe culture. Their devices became their shields from real life, and the life in the net became more real than the real life itself. Many young people experience symptoms of anxiety and depression following common life events such as exams, relationship breakdowns, losses, grief and any kind of change. Anxiety and sadness are normal adaptive emotional reactions to certain events. Accepting life’s ups and downs, and knowing that some days will be better than others, and that if at first, you don’t succeed, then that is absolutely okay and you are not an abject failure as a result. In order for children to cope and subsequently thrive, they need to be able to recover from mistakes, because mistakes will happen. They need to be able to deal with the challenges that life will throw at them, and the misfortunes and failings that may happen. Which means they need to fail along the way in order to succeed.
What the caring parent and a great education institution have to do from their side is to help young people become EMOTIONALLY prepared to face life’s challenges. This includes not only talking and encouraging children to discuss their feelings (though, undoubtedly, it is an important part), but also giving them space to act, respond to the situation, encourage them to think of others and consider other perspectives, and in the same time encourage them to think what they are going to do about that situation. We need to help young generations build emotional resilience, with a considerable emphasis on normalising difficult emotions, to prepare them for adult life beyond parental home and school walls.
More in Community Building

Bike Oxford: Focused on inclusivity, welcoming all ages and abilities
Bike Oxford, now in its 9th year, is an event with real community spirit. Championed by Oxford City and Oxfordshire County councils as a way of encouraging active transport and healthy lifestyle, the event welcomes riders from all parts of the community, of all ages and abilities. The event, one of the largest single day […]

Blenheim Newsletter February 2022
Keeping you up to date with all the latest news from Blenheim

‘Don’t miss out’ – Successful Peer Networks initiative makes its final...
The OxLEP Business-run programme Peer Networks has called on businesses to grab the last few places available before time runs out.
From this author

Science and tech businesses invited to public outreach event.
Businesses, university departments and research groups will once again gather in the unique setting of Abingdon’s historic Market Place for the ATOM Festival “Science Market” on 11th March.

Ukrainian Culture Weeks
The Ukrainian Culture Weeks will open hearts, arms, galleries and stages for the celebration of classical music, authentic visual performances and exhibitions, as well as talks of blue-chip artists of Ukraine, all of them impacting the world culture today, leaving traces in the past and in future of the global art and music scene. These events will […]

At The Sharp End: Innovation in Business
B4’s Chairman, Frank Nigriello, chairs the second of a series of podcasts with invited CEO’s and Leaders of B4 Member organisations.